Individual & Couples Therapist
I bring almost 20 years of clinical experience informed by a lifetime of diverse life and career experiences along with a whole lot of common sense and heart.
- Feeling stuck with work, marriage/relationships, family, spiritual life, grief.
- Unsatisfactory relationships/marriage (romantic, family, work. friendship)
- Ageing concerns and fears
- Sense of not being enough (or too much)
- Depression, anxiety, mental health issues
- Finding or maintaining your ideal mate
- Loneliness which can be pervasive even within good relationships.
- Overwhelmed by life or circumstances.
- Recovering from an affair (you or your partner)
- Life transitions - loss, retirement, parenting, divorce, empty nester, job changes…
- A sense of futility
- Inability to relax or sleep peacefully
- Disappointment in yourself (needing a life review?)
- Low self esteem or inability to believe in yourself
- Repeating unhelpful patterns
- Finding your new direction.
- Trauma as specific incidents or by ‘a thousand cuts’.
- Just wanting to ‘do’ life and relationships better and more consciously.
I'm here to Help
Becoming unstuck will usually entail a review of life circumstances leading to the present, along with exposing limiting beliefs and behaviours. We’ll also look at where your anchors are that hold you steady as you identify what unstuck looks like and resources needed to get there. We’ll discuss courage and practical incremental steps as well as obstacles.
Quote by Carl Jung - "Until you make the unconscious, conscious - it will rule your life and you will call it fate."
All sessions are tailored to your needs. I use a number of tools and modalities to best meet you exactly where you are in the moment. I have been fortunate to work with a very diverse client group doing short and long term therapy so I am able to adapt sessions to fit your desired outcomes in timelines that work for you.
Life presents many challenges and many clients will identify with several of the above issues. I approach this by identifying the underlying patterns and in accord with your capacity and time constraints, we begin to build strategies. This enables you to get rapid traction and a sense of empowerment and hope.
I honour your courage to face into what are sometimes hard issues.
I see you. I hear you. I feel you.
Val Hayes ● Therapist
What Clients Say
…I was a very depressed and sad young man who hadn’t recovered from losing my girlfriend to cancer. I was clinging on to a pretty miserable existence only because I didn’t want to upset my twin brother. I had tried and failed at counselling a number of times before I went to you and while I still think I struggle with counselling in general, our sessions together were the first time I began to see a somewhat bright future. Being able to unload to someone I trusted and who provided some kind and wise words in return was extremely important to me to be able to address some of the pain I was still acutely feeling.
So thank you Val, you made a huge difference in my life and I am so relieved I forced myself to go to our first appointment together because if I hadn’t i am sure my life would have turned out very differently. You make a big impact.
Conor early 30’s - Ireland
I find it really hard to open up and I didn't think I could manage it over zoom but even in the first session, I felt like you ‘got’ me. What a relief!
Tracey ● Early 50's - Auckland
Thanks so much Val for helping us to deeply hear each other for the first time in years. We could both truly feel into each other’s pain through your guidance and remembering this intimacy is helping us rebuild what we thought was too broken to repair.
Brett & Jan ● 40's - New Zealand
I cannot thank you enough for all your wisdom, support and care over the last few months. I feel a whole, better, confident and chilled version of myself.
Bianka ● 30's - New Zealand
Partnering with me
In just three easy steps we can meet, get some background and come up with a plan
Meet to determine if we are a good fit and discuss what you’d like to achieve and ask questions about how we proceed.
Gathering some personal history
Outline a rough plan after establishing context and proceed with open-ness and flexibility to include any shifts you may experience.
I work in a heartful, gentle and collaborative way, pacing and attuning with your needs. For example, if there is recent or historic trauma, I’m conservative in my approach until I know you have capacity to dive a little deeper. I aim to equip you with resources and ‘takeaways’ that empower you to be the best version of yourself.